Sorry if Salt sounds like an insufferable jerk, but… with his drop in humanity he has actually started blaming you guys for all his problems. ALL OF THEEEEEEMMM!!!
I am surrounded by incompetents.
That’s not strictly fair. They were desperate. They couldn’t help themselves.
I can barely remember the last time I tasted blood. Real human blood, so different from the filth I tore from the guts of rats. I shouldn’t have done, but with my traps gone I was left with no other option. Like the thug who shot me, the broken slaves the Lamont kept, the dead men who still lie in that alley have spun into a spiralling tableaux of human life that I have consumed.
So clean. So… awake.
I still can’t trust my memories completely, but I remember enough to know that the city had changed. We awoke in a lightless dungeon, somewhere deep in the mine where years ago we’d struggled to save a sick man from himself. The door was locked, with ad hoc reinforcements welded to the outside. Whoever left us there wanted us left alone, but they left the key here. I think it was the Prince, but that may have been a dream. Sylvia ripped the wooden stave out of my heart, but it feels like it left something behind, some dark blockage to my psyche that the blood can’t wash away like it used to.
So clean. So awake.
There was a card near the key, but we didn’t know what that meant until tonight.
Last night I butchered two human bodies. I tried to stop her, but Ariette killed them both. Her lapse in self control ended two human lives, but… I don’t think I would have acted differently. maybe if I had killed them I would have handed myself in, but they need me. I remember the first time I prepared roast lamb at college my skin crawled when the knife slid through the skin of something that used to be alive. It was a strange sensation to turn a blade on human skin, but looking back on it the process seemed so automatic, so easy. The poor fools were dead, after all, my friends had seen to that. They didn’t need those bodies anymore.
It won’t stand up to even half hearted forensic analysis, but maybe a junkie and a dealer killing each other in a dark alley will just be forgotten. That’s about the best I could hope for.
Terry’s been forgotten. I think he’s still nearby, following me, but his voice has faded out with the intervening years. I sent his mother a letter, telling her that despite the intervening years I was still looking for her son’s murderer. I don’t know what she’ll think of that, but maybe her grief will give Terry some will back. I hope I haven’t hurt her for nothing. I could barely think of an excuse for being away four years, but I wrote- fuck. Idiot. How could I have been so stupid? Remembering to write a letter to Terry’s mom and not my own, how the hell did I manage that? What is she thinking, after nearly four years without a word? Last I told her I was on the West coast… Damn it.
But what do I tell her? You get phone calls in jail. A coma isn’t far off, but comas leave paper trails.
I died, and I have been an accessory to murder for a woman and a little girl who kill people.
I don’t want to hurt her.
Damn near killed Blake. Not sure how it had happened, but he and a friend of his seemed to have gone off the deep end. This was just after we’d left the cave we’d been locked in, Blake and his muttering comrade lurked up and jumped on Sylvia. i managed to overpower Blake, figured I’d draw off his vitae to take the fight out of him. I figured that Sylvia and Arriette could handle his friend, the socialite has always seemed eager with that knife, but in the end it was the little girl that hamstrung him. He didn’t go down easy, tore a huge chunk out of Sylvia and broke Arriette’s jaw, so I hit Blake with the Eye and sent him scurrying off into the woods. If he’s lucky he’ll find somewhere out of the sun. The little one said these rabid vampires, “larvae” or something, hunt in packs, so we didn’t stick around. I’m inclined to disbelieve that they’re nothing but monsters, but we were too badly hurt to capture them for now.
We managed to hitch a ride with some suspicious bumpkin, who took us back into town in exchange for the money I had left. The town’s changed. A sickness of some kind, a “blood pox” according to that sadist Symes, has left huge parts of the city empty, some blocks still quarantined, and no Kindred on the streets that I was able to see. The guy in the truck left us on streets that were a mess of old memories and new changes. I felt like an alien, watching the people around me through a fisheye lens. Trying hard to figure out if I felt that way last time I was here.
The girls were starving, and we were getting desperate, so we jumped two guys in an alley. I gave one the eye and he fell in a dead faint; the other pulled a gun, but I was able to knock it out of his hand and throw him against the wall. I felt the surge of the Clay Man in my muscles, his worms singing out in their tiny voices as I dragged the struggling blood from the man. But I let him go. Everything would have been fine, had Ariette not gone bezerk. I tried to pry her off him, but she was raging, and there wasn’t a whole lot I could do. What was meant to be a quick and painless feeding ended with me disfiguring corpses in a back alley.
I spent eight years at college for this?
Can’t be helped now. I could have chewed them out, but they’re just not used to being hungry. Back in the day, they’d usually have full stomachs, friends to help them and someone less mad than the Clay Bastard on their backs. Maybe they won’t turn up their noses at rat next time. Less on the conscience than murder.
We staked out the asylum a bit, but figured we’d try and find a safe place to sleep. My sewer library seemed secure, though somebody had ransacked it and swiped my maps some time ago. Left a little rat totem in exchange. Weirdest currency I’ve ever seen. Who knows? My traps were ripped up, looked like their rodent prisoners had worked up enough population to break free. It was a mess, but I snagged some stragglers. Better dead than tangled up like that. I wrote out the letter, and sent it to Terry’s mom, had a moment with my dead roses, and we slept for the day.
The next night we visited the asylum. It was the first time I’d ever walked through the doors of a hospital with a gun under my jacket. It had been a rattling awakening, and I truly had no idea what to expect. If Prince Lambert had put us in the ground, maybe it was him that baited us here, though any reason why he would do that escapes me. We didn’t find Lambert.
I did my best to impersonate a practicing doctor with a functioning memory, on a research tour. I’m not sure what they made of Ariette and Sylvia. Abuse survivors I’d brought in, maybe, show them a safe place. This wasn’t a safe place, and I’m reluctant to call it a hospital. The receptionist showed us around, and we found Domovoi. He’d been renamed Barry, tried to clue us in that he wanted out, and that Doctor Symes was listening. Then the doctor arrived, in surgical clothing.
I shouldn’t call him a doctor. He’s the sickest creature in that hospital. He told us that the blood pox caused brain damage, made its victims violent and aggressive. Said that was why he’d been doing butcher jobs on his patients frontal lobes. Said he was the only thing keeping the chaos outside from creeping in.
Every word was like a spit in my face, and part of me smiled that he’d let a real doctor with a gun into his precious fucking sanctuary. Every fucking word, I heard the fucking echoes of congressmen telling doctors to sterilize criminals, sick eugenicists gassing the sick and i tell you I just wanted to put his HEAD TO A WALL WITH MY CLAY FIST AND CRUSH AND CRUSH UNTIL THERE IS NOTHING BUT PASTE AND SPLINTERS UNTIL I TEAR OUT HIS BLACK HEART REND ASUNDER THE HUMAN GUISE WORN
… He needs to be put down. Couldn’t fight him, the girls were hurt, and if we didn’t get Dom out who knew what tricks that torturing pig would pull. I let him know I’d be back though. Can’t let the Id ride me, not yet. Those people need a doctor, a real doctor, the girls need me. I don’t know what he did to Dom, but he needs healing, and Sylvia needs her dad. Symes is sick too, but I don’t know if I could heal him. He enjoys his monstrosity too much.
I need to free those people.
Things to do, things… things I have to remember.
-Remove Symes from the asylum, find a way to help his victims. I know I could do this. Symes calls himself a doctor, but that just makes him a liar. I am a real doctor. I must help those people.
-Try and revive Terry. need to get back on the trail, it will be cold as ice by now but I’ve got forever. Need to get up to speed with occultists in this area, maybe the Carthian network has some info. I won’t let them slip away, not again.
-Figure out what to tell my parents. Not the truth.
-Find somewhere safe to stay.
-Find Theodore. Don’t know who he is, but Symes gave us a phone number.
Have to remember. My name is Marvin Salt. I am twenty seven – thirty two years old. My parents are Edgar and Mary Salt, and we lived in Providence. Maybe they still do. I was infected by a blind man named Boris and it was him that named me Nosferatu. I am a psychiatrist,and I will do no harm. I will do no harm.
I am not the Clay Man. I created him.
The girls are coming back. Dom’s given up on his dessert. I hope they have good news.